Did you forget?

Dear Readers,

I love this…I’m starting to get feedback and questions by the handful! Thank you SOOOO much for your questions and responses! I LOVE YOU!

George (fictitious) writs:

“Dear Truth,

For quite sometime now I have been burdened with heavy expenses and a personal situation that has been unbearable. There are things that overwhelm me, family members that come to me for help – and I can’t help them, and I feel so lost and helpless. I used to be of a solid financial status that allowed me to help all of my kids with their financial needs and now I can’t even provide for myself or my spouse. Luckily, I have a family member that has taken me and my spouse into their home for an indefinate amount of time, but I feel so guilty that I can’t contribute to the household fund…..What do I do? I am so blessed but feel so wrought and sad. I want to continue helping but I cant. Please offer me a suggestion!


Dear George:

First of all….SMILE! There is hope for you! You sound like a man that has been blessed for so many years to be able to reach out to people and shore them up (yes – to shore is to stabilize a wall on a ship when it has had damage and is flooding) until the waters receeded and they could carry on. It sounds like you have been a life preserver and a rescuer for your family who looks up to you and adores everything about you! How fortunate are you that God has now blessed your life with someone who has the ways and means to shore you up and be your life preserver? I am ASS-U-ME’ing that you are staying with family now in your time of need. George…what comes around goes around and I’m sure that whomever took you in, whomever is creating that household fund FOR YOU, loves you very much. God has blessed them abundantly so that they can, in return, bless you as well. My advice to you, dear sir, is to take one deep breath. Go ahead…innnnnnnnnnnnnnn hold and reeeleasssssssse nice and slow….that a’ way! Now listen to me. coming from someone who is in a similar situation…sort of…blessings come from left field sometimes. It isn’t up to us to wonder why, or what can I do, or am I enough. It is God’s way of letting you know that YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT PLACE. You have been the KING of your family and world for so long, it might be time to pass the crown. Allow your caretakers to coddle and love you. Allow them to nurture you and give you what you need. You need not feel guilty for accepting someone’s kindness. Someone once told me that guilt is a wasted emotion. I mostly believe this. Guilt allows us to know when we have done something wrong and most of us take the next step, which is taking responsibility and apologizing to make things right. You, dearest George, have done NOTHING wrong! You have helped your family, you have reached out to be the blessing time and time again and now it is your turn to accept gifts in return. That’s all! That simple! Many people are so terribly worried about this recession we are in! But look at our households nowadays…more and more parents are moving in with their children or other relatives. More and more college students are staying home longer. Think about what times were like WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY back when. Isn’t that the way families USED to be before greed took over our social climate? Families lived together their whole lives! Mommies and Daddies took care of their children until they were married, then the children took care of the mommies and daddies! We have now returned to that way of life because of….a recession? Seriously? That is the way it should have always been and just maybe, God is MAKING it that way again. Today’s society is so full of technology, emotionless emails and texts, that something had to have happened to reconnect people. So all in all….you have not lost anything, dear George, you are loved and well taken care of and should just bask in the blessings! Everyone needs help from time to time and good for you for being such a wonderful person to have given that out when you could and that someone now WANTS to give it back to you. So you have nothing to feel guilty for! You’ve done nothing wrong, no apologies needed, you are simply blessed with people who love you without strings attached! How wonderful!

I do have one piece of advice for you…shake that guilt!! It serves no one but the enemy. You are rich in love and life. Close your eyes and bathe in that for just a few minutes. Allow that love to wash over you always and know that you deserve it! There is a reason your family loves you so much. Embrace that instead of the what-ifs or if I could only’s. Live your life…love your life…the people IN your life sure love you! And that…is the Butt Ugly Truth!


One thought on “Did you forget?

  1. Unfortunately in modern days the word charity has taken on a new meaning. Here is the old school and new school version of the word taken from Wikipedia.

    In Christian theology charity, or love (agapē), means an unlimited loving-kindness toward all others.

    The term should not be confused with the more restricted modern use of the word charity to mean benevolent giving.

    I think often in times like these it is hard to look at charity as a blessing and showing of love due to the modern day use of the word. You are learning lessons that you never would have been able to and you are also giving a gift. Think of the moments that you were the giver and how wonderful you felt to be able to help another human being in a time of need. You are now blessing someone else with that gift and teaching them lessons in life you are not aware of. Never is this a one sided thing…both the giver and receiver are actually doing both! I have personally found that it is our pride and societies views often times that gets in the way of the reality of it all. It always feels better to be the one giving but also think of those feelings of gratefulness you do feel and other emotions you are given because they now give you a better appreciation for those you helped out so many times yourself and can see first hand how they felt. You are now given the gift of truly knowing first hand what true thankfulness is all about and there will be a time where you will be able to give again in that capacity but for now you will need to find a way to give in other ways.

    Recently, we lost our 4 month old son and it was my children who actually taught me a very important life lesson. My oldest went to a grief camp and upon the completion of his weekend there he told me he wanted to donate to the camp to help other children. Both my husband and I would love to have just been able to write a check to make that possible but it just was not something we could do. It was then that my 11 year old said to me, can’t we just do a fundraiser mom…someone was there for me and I want to be there for someone else. Needless to say we put together a fundraiser for this camp. Initially people criticized this decision saying our family was financially not in a place to do this sort of thing. Finances have nothing to do with charity and compassion and I found that out first hand when my boys raised over a thousand dollars and got tons of in kind donations for this organization. After the fundraiser I learned that we all have a chance to give even when we do need to receive in other aspects. If you feel the need to still give than find another outlet there is always someone in need of even just a listening ear and that can be a huge gift!

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