Welcome back to The Butt Ugly Truth! A few months ago, “Ashley” was job hunting and came across a great looking company she wanted to work for. She sent her resume in and was immediately contacted for an interview. Ash’s letter goes a little like this:
“Dear Butt Ugly Truth:
I could really use the butt ugly truth right about now! I went in for an interview with a fantasticly organized company. During my interview, we talked extensively about teamwork and how this company’s morale is different from other companies because of the team atmosphere. They seemed to take pride on supporting a cohesive bond between their employees. I was very up front about what I was looking for in an office enviornment and made it known that I would tolerate no less than teamwork and happy employees. I was very up front that I don’t do drama and that it’s important to me to work with ethical, friendly people. But that isn’t how it has turned out to be. There is tattling, favorites, nit-picking, lieing, back-biting, just the whole 9-yards! I love the actual work I do, I’m good at what I do, but the office politics are ruining my career! I have to take blood pressure medication now, I suffer from migraines, and my stress level is through the roof. How have your readers dealt with this in the past?
Oh dear Ashley, Ashley, Ashley! The simple butt ugly truth is you are working in the black pool so common to corporate america! It seems EVERYONE wants to work in a harmonious atmosphere. Even the people who muck it all up! Our free-will seems to allow us all to commit cardinal sins of the workplace, even when our true intentions are otherwise. Of course, MOST good people will realize they have over-stepped a boundary and immediately apologize and right their wrong. But then….there are those that are so obsessed and intent on destroying the reputation of others. There are too many reasons to list but mostly they are arrogant, self-centered people that can’t even conceive the notion that they are hurtful. When they find out, they often don’t care! THEY are the ones that need the butt ugly truth, Ash, not you!
There’s tons of information that Google led me to on how to confront this. First, start with the individuals you have direct issues with. Be matter-of-factly about what behavior is bothering you and present your feelings in a positive way. If you want things to be better, you have to make the first move at honestly stepping in when things are wrong. Don’t let your co-workers get away with bad behavior. Throw the flag on the play as soon as it happens. If that doesn’t work, take it to the boss. Tell your boss what you have experienced and remind them of your interview conversation. If the boss values you as an employee, they will eat some humble pie and make an earnest attempt at resolving the issue. Your human resources department can be a very effective resource as well! They are there to protect your rights and favoritism is against the Equal Employment Opportunity laws. Favoritism falls under discrimination. (check it out here http://www.eeoc.gov/ ) At this point, your stress level is so high that you are being physically effected by it. If you exhaust all of your avenues, then it might be time to relocate your services. The butt ugly truth goes back to a quote in my post title “The Value of Friendship”: “Don’t over value people who under value you.” It may be tough in the job market right now, but no tougher than when you were looking before! Buck up Ashley and get out there and get what you deserve!
There’s nothing worse than someone who kills themselves at a place where no one cares about them. Obviously, business is supposed to be business, but the butt ugly truth is that we are social beings, not ants. It’s important to every human being to be valued for the contributions that they make. Personally, I can’t stand office drama, so I work from home. We all have God given talents that allow us to make our own living with our own values. Most of the time, our talents make us happy! That’s why God gave them to us! Use them to earn your bread and butter. You don’t need a bunch of negative nellies poisoning your water hole on a day in – day out basis where you feel like your job is a grind! Life is too short for us to allow others to undervalue us! You were born with a specific place in this world and a specific purpose! Explore your assets and find out how you can grow your determination and committment to really living your life the way it was meant to be lived!
I wish I had a dime for every negative experience I’ve had in the coporate world. It exists in every office, even in those offices that falsely claim to be a harmonious atmosphere. The butt ugly truth is that we can’t allow others to define our worth or anyone else’s. Stand up for yourself and others. Let’s send those haters a clear message of exactly where they stand. They can fester in their own self-loathing by themselves while the rest of us enjoy our lives and our jobs! And THAT……is the BUTT UGLY TRUTH my dear Ashley! Keep us posted on how things are and for the rest of my readers out there, please post a comment telling us about how you’ve dealt with this kind of thing in the office! Thanks for reading!